teaching

I am really excited to start teaching again this fall. At Esparto High School, I had something really special. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision in leaving that place, but it wasn't the students that finally led me to my decision. It was the administration, as well as my own desire to pursue a PhD and eventually get into teaching at the college level. There are days when I find myself thinking of my students, most especially the Class of 2008 who I was lucky enough to spend three years with; and I realize that the circumstances of that experience are non-replicable. Where else would I be able to make up 50% of the English department, and therefore teach 50% of the students in the entire high school? And even if I did find a place where that could happen, how would I ever swing it so that I taught 10th and 11th grade for two years, only to switch to 10th and 12th the third (therefore allowing me to stay with the same class for a third year in a row)? When I think about it honestly, I realize it would be nearly impossible to make all of those things happen, and that even if I could, who's to say the class would have the same kind of chemistry and pizzazz that that one did? So I console myself by seeing just how lucky I was to have that experience in the first place, and by allowing myself to reminisce about the students and their very special and unique selves. I also let myself wonder where they all are right now, a little over a year since I've seen any of them -- and I dream of all the incredible turns their lives are hopefully taking as they start to make a place and a name for themselves in this world of ours.

So with those thoughts on my mind, I am beginning to look forward to the teaching I get to do this fall. I'll be teaching my first class of college students, in the form of an English 110 course (freshman composition). It may not sound like the most exciting curriculum out there, but it sure does sound good to get back into the classroom. Thinking about it makes me more certain of my decision to work toward my PhD. The fact that I am this excited (so excited!) to get back into the classroom makes me feel confident that I'm heading in the right direction, and the fact that I miss the students from EHS makes me realize that it was the people (rather than the circumstances) that I miss the most. Somehow, that makes me feel really good.

I suppose it's last night's thunderstorm coupled with today's cloudy and windy weather that are bringing out the introspective side of me, but I also think it's the season. Back to school season: lined paper and Trapper Keepers on display everywhere you go, backpacks flying off the shelves and students of all sizes picking out the gear that will see them through this next school year. I wonder if these things will always turn my mind toward my students -- if they will always bring back memories of Senior Dinner and Rascal Flatts, Spart-a-rama, a particular shade of purple, and some familiar faces and personalities that have left their mark on me. Will I always find myself getting out a particular towel riddled with signatures, looking at the shapes of the letters and remembering the people who put them there? Will I always get out a simple three-ring binder filled with photographs and signatures, messages written in my own personal teacher's yearbook? Will I continue to sift through memories and find myself smiling at times past? Probably. And I can't say I'm all that broken up about it. I had some really good times at EHS, and some amazing people touched my life in ways that will always be with me. Perhaps that is my sign that I am where I should be -- that I can look back over where I've been and feel happy about it.